After three hours and having access to my ISP relay/smart host denied I have one thing to say.

FUCK

All the servers I’ve setup in the past and I’ve NEVER had this problem – not once. Did I say FUCK? I’m sure I did.

Why are you never around when I need you? You’re always tied to that bloomin’ computer and going on about “oh but I just need to write this bit of code”, or “I just need to get to this milestone before I consider eating or sleeping”.

It’s depressing, and it’s senseless, and that’s why-

I like Chinese
I like Chinese
They only come up to your knees
But they’re always friendly and they’re ready to please

I like Chinese
I like Chinese
There’s nine hundred million of them in the world today
You’d better learn to like them, that’s what I say

I like Chinese
I like Chinese
They come from a long way overseas
But they’re cute and they’re cuddly and they’re ready to please

I like Chinese food
The waiters never are rude
Think of the many things they’ve done to impress
There’s Maoism, Taoism, I-Ching and chess so

I like Chinese
I like Chinese
I like their tiny little trees
Their Zen, their ping-pong, their yin-and-yang-ese

I like Chinese thought
The wisdom that Confucius taught
If Darwin is anything to shout about
The Chinese will survive us all without any doubt

I like Chinese
I like Chinese
They only come up to your knees
Yet they’re wise and they’re witty and they’re ready to please
All together!

(in Mandarin)
我愛中國人
我愛中國人
我愛中國人
你好嗎, 你好嗎, 你好嗎, 再見!

I like Chinese
I like Chinese
Their food is guaranteed to please
A fourteen, a seven, a nine and lychees!

I like Chinese
I like Chinese
I like their tiny little trees
Their Zen, their ping-pong, their yin-and-yang-ese

I like Chinese
I like Chinese
They only come up to your knees… (fades out)

That is all.